How to Watch Adults Adopting Adults
Adult adoption is a legal process that involves bringing other adults into a family. It can be done for many different reasons, and the legalities vary state by state.
The new A&E show Adults Adopting Adults is highlighting the stories of six families that are in the middle of the adoption process. Several of the stories featured are jaw-dropping.
Legality of Adult Adoption
The legality of adult adoption varies state by state. While most states allow adults to adopt, some may restrict this based on age differences, disability status, foster or stepparent relationships, and other factors.
Many people who adopt adults are doing so for various reasons, including establishing legal parent-child relationships, gaining access to inheritance rights, or caring for an adult who can’t care for themselves. In addition, many adult adoptees seek out this type of adoption because it provides them with a sense of permanence and family.
Some of the most common reasons for people to adopt an adult include:
Emotional bonding
If a person becomes close to someone else and develops an unshakeable bond, they might want to legally formalize the relationship. This can be done by having the other person adopt them as their child.
Another common reason for adult adoption is when a person who has been married or cohabitated with a same-sex partner wants to protect the other person in case of their death. This is especially common if the other person is older than the spouse or cohabitated partner.
Finally, some adult adoptees are looking for a permanent home after an unsuccessful or unwanted pregnancy. This is sometimes referred to as “re-adoption.”
The process of adult adoption requires that the person adopting their child go through certain steps and complete a lot of paperwork, including filing court papers and signing them in front of witnesses. If the birth parents have not yet been notified of the adoption, you must also notify them and show proof that you have done so.
This process may take three months or longer before the adoption can be finalized. However, it is possible for the judge to shorten this time period at his or her discretion.
Adoption can be a life-changing experience for everyone involved, but it is a permanent commitment that you should only make if you are sure that you are right for the other person. This is why it is important to get legal advice before you begin the process.
If you have questions about the legality of adult adoption, don’t hesitate to reach out to a lawyer. They can help you understand your options and guide you through the process.
Characteristics of Adult Adoptees
While many people are aware of the complexities of adoption, few realize the emotional challenges faced by adults who have been adopted. They struggle with a variety of issues, including a sense of loss and abandonment; low self-esteem; substance abuse/addiction; lingering feelings of rejection; and suicide/suicidal attempts.
Adult adoptees also experience a unique form of trauma, known as relinquishment trauma. This occurs soon after birth, when the baby is placed for adoption by their parents and is not given the opportunity to know their biological parents or other family members. The child's body develops "survival skills" for this abnormal situation, which are characterized by hypervigilance, need for control, and lack of close relationships (Neil, 2012).
For many adoptees, these symptoms are not personality traits but are a result of the trauma they experienced, and they are difficult to change or overcome. This can cause many adoptees to suffer from symptoms such as:
Emotional dysregulation - Children are often easily upset or reactive and have difficulty regulating their emotions. They may be unable to get over emotional triggers or situations, and they will often be emotionally withdrawn from others.
Identity struggles - Adoptees are often confused as to how to blend their adoptive identity with their birth identity, as well as who their birth family is or what medical conditions run in their blood. In addition, they may have a desire to find their birth families or learn more about their heritage.
Suicide/suicidal attempts - According to one study, adopted adults are more likely to die by suicide than non-adopted individuals. This is because they are more likely to feel rejected and abandoned by their birth parents, and have less control over their lives.
Many adoptees do not have accurate information about their adoption, and it is important to communicate this to them as soon as possible. Adoptees also need to understand the importance of gaining their full birth rights, so they can secure their inheritance and ensure that they have a secure and happy life. They should also be aware of how they can seek legal assistance if they need it.
Characteristics of Adult Adoptive Families
Adopting an adult can be a complex and emotionally challenging process. While many adoptees grow up happy and well-adjusted, others may struggle with a range of issues, including depression, anxiety, and interpersonal problems. Some of these difficulties can even be present into adulthood, and psychologists should address this information during intake interviews to ensure their patients understand how adoption may impact their mental health.
In some cases, adoptive parents want to know more about their child’s biological parents, as a way of building a more open and secure relationship with the family. This is called a triad adoption, and can be a positive experience for both parties involved.
Reflective thinking about one’s adoption can be intense and enduring, with many adopted persons experiencing what is known as an “inner search” (Irhammer & Cederblad, 2000). This inner searching often includes questions about one’s birth parent, such as how much contact they had, whether they lived in the same home as their birth mother or father, and what their children were like.
Researchers have studied this reflective thinking across adolescence and emerging adulthood. In particular, they have examined the development of adoption-related curiosity, a desire to learn more about one’s adoption, in the context of satisfaction with one’s openness arrangements with birth parents.
Findings indicate that not all adopted persons express this type of curiosity, with those who are less satisfied with their openness arrangements developing more. This is an important point, as it demonstrates that not all adoptees have the same level of satisfaction with their adoption.
To explore this curiosity, coding schemes were developed to assess specific items of curiosity about the adoptee’s adoptive kinship network and their birth parents. Interview transcripts were rated by two coders, and ratings were double-coded when possible.
The results suggest that a person’s satisfaction with their openness arrangement with birth parents at adolescence is also associated with the formation of an adoption-related information gap, which contains the specific items of curiosity. For example, those with openness arrangements without face-to-face contact may be less likely to desire medical information about their birth mother or father than those with openness arrangements with birth parents.
Characteristics of Adult Adoptive Parents
Adoption is a legal process that allows families to formalize long-lasting relationships and create certain benefits and protections for the adoptee and the adopted adult. These include full inheritance rights, social security and health benefits and more.
The adoption process can also help adults and couples create a new family through fostering. Often, this can lead to a child with special needs or an elderly adult living with a disability becoming part of a new family and receiving love and care from their foster parents.
Successful foster and adoptive parents are able to tolerate the difficult emotions that come with fostering or adopting children who are suffering from trauma and pain. They are able to feel these negative feelings without judging themselves harshly, and they know that their feelings will pass.
They are able to use humor to defuse reactive emotions and are willing to discuss their feelings with other adoptive parents, therapists or workers. They also understand that bringing a new baby into their family is often a stressful and challenging experience and are willing to wait and work through the rejection and fears that arise from the placement.
Licensed mental health professionals are the best people to help adults struggling with issues related to adoption and their relationships. They can provide counseling to address these issues and offer a safe place to explore their fears and concerns.
One of the biggest issues adoptees struggle with is a sense of identity and belonging. They are not always sure if they have a strong connection to their adoptive parents or if they have a true biological family. Many adoptees fear that if they search for their birth parents, they will be disloyal to their adoptive parents and will hurt them.
As an adoptee, you may feel a desire to search for your birth parents and find out more about who they are. This is not an easy task, and it can even cause a breach in the relationship between you and your adoptive parents.
Adoptive parents can play a key role in helping their adopted adult pursue a search for their birth parents and help them understand the value of it. However, some adoptive parents will not encourage their adopted child to do a search and might lie to them about their origins in order to protect themselves. This can lead to a lot of confusion and stress for both you and your adoptive parents.
