How to Watch the Ultimatum on Netflix

The newest reality dating show on Netflix, “The Ultimatum,” is asking couples to “commit to marriage or move on” over the course of eight weeks. To help them do that, each of the six pairs on the show will participate in trial marriages with other potential partners.

But if you’re interested in watching this show, you should know that it’s not for everyone. It can be a lot of fun, but it’s not always easy.

Watching the ultimatum

Netflix's latest reality romance series, The Ultimatum, follows six couples as they face a decision. One half of each couple has issued an ultimatum that they must marry their partner or break up forever.

However, each of the partners isn't completely sure that they're ready to get engaged. So, in order to find out if they're truly committed to their relationship, they are given the chance to live with another person from the other five couples for a period of three weeks.

At the end of the three-week trial, the couples have to make a decision about their relationships. Some will be happy to be married and some will choose to break up and move on.

Throughout the first season, viewers got to see the drama unfold as each couple tried to figure out their relationships and what they really wanted from life. The most memorable moments included April Marie and Jake Cunningham's ultimatum, Rae leaving Zay single and Madlyn's declaration that she was completely done with her boyfriend Colby.

While watching the ultimatum on the show can be fun and entertaining, it's important to take a step back and think about how you feel before giving someone an ultimatum. If you are feeling frustrated, angry, resentful, insecure or indecisive, you might want to avoid delivering your ultimatum because it can backfire on you.

This can be especially true if the person you're giving an ultimatum to isn't committed to your relationship, has cold feet, or simply isn't being a supportive partner. The ultimatum is meant to provide a bit of a push to the other person, so it's best if you are calm and collected when you deliver it.

It's also a good idea to have some clarity about your own feelings before giving an ultimatum, so you can be certain that the person you are trying to convince is in the right frame of mind. It's also a good idea to make sure that the ultimatum is attainable and reasonable for both parties, so that you can avoid any unnecessary complications in the future.

Making the ultimatum

It isn't a good idea to give an ultimatum when you are feeling angry or irritated. It can cause you to lash out at your partner and be overly critical of them. Instead, assess your feelings and make sure they are reasonable and healthy.

You also should be clear on how you want to handle this issue. Having a clear idea of what you want will help you to decide on an approach that will work best for you and your partner.

If you are in the process of evaluating your relationship and you've reached a point where an ultimatum is necessary, make sure it is done with care. It's a delicate situation and there are a lot of things to consider before giving it out, such as your emotional health, the relationship's history and your own communication patterns.

Relationship expert Tennesha Wood says that ultimatums can be effective if you're "in the middle of a very intense conflict and don't have enough time or energy to work through it and resolve it on your own." The ultimatum might help you to get your partner to focus on the problem and take action.

However, it can also create a lot of resentment in your partner. They might feel as though they are losing control of the relationship or that you are taking advantage of them.

Moreover, ultimatums can be dangerous when they are given to someone who is already struggling with substance use disorder, domestic violence or other unhealthy behavior that can threaten their health and well-being. They may be unable to make the right decisions and can even lead to a worsened relationship, says Dalsing.

Another reason that it isn't a good idea to issue an ultimatum when you are feeling upset or frustrated is that you can't be sure whether it will work. It is likely to backfire on you if your partner doesn't agree with it and will leave you mired in negative emotions, explains McCrea.

Fortunately, there are other ways to fix your relationship without resorting to an ultimatum. For example, you could work on your relationship by being open and honest with each other. You can also work on developing a stronger sense of trust in the relationship and cultivating a healthy bond between you.

Listening to the ultimatum

If you have a relationship and your partner has issued an ultimatum, you should take note of their words. If you can identify the issue that they're presenting, you might be able to work through it with them. You'll also have the opportunity to decide if you want to continue on with them or if you'd rather walk away.

Generally, though, it's best to try and figure out why your partner is issuing an ultimatum in the first place. It may be because they're concerned for your health, or it could be that they feel a certain core value is not being met.

Another reason an ultimatum might pop up is if your partner has a substance use disorder and is in need of help. In these cases, it's reasonable to request that they get treatment if you're going to be in the relationship with them.

But be sure you're not asking for an ultimatum if you don't have a legitimate reason to do so, explains McMaugh Tierno. "It's not the best way to move forward if you're in a healthy relationship."

Then, reframe the conversation as something that will benefit both of you. You may even be able to set up a time when you can meet and discuss it.

If your partner is a good negotiator, they'll be able to work through the issue with you and get to a mutually agreeable solution. But if they aren't, you might be left feeling a bit frustrated.

You're also likely to be in the middle of a lot of emotion when you're receiving an ultimatum, so be sure to try and avoid being reactive to their words. Instead, try to think clearly and make an effort to calm down before you talk about it with them.

Finally, always remember that an ultimatum can backfire on you if you're not careful. It can be perceived as a sham by your partner, and it can lead to them walking away from you.

If you're not sure about whether an ultimatum is right for your situation, talk to a therapist or a friend who can give you advice. They can give you a better idea of what your relationship is worth.

Accepting the ultimatum

If you’re in a relationship where one partner is constantly threatening or issuing ultimatums, it may be time to seek professional help. Often, these issues bubble up because of a couple’s inability to communicate well or because they’re dealing with some sort of hot button issue, says Marhya Kelsch, a licensed social worker and owner of Middleway Psychotherapy.

Whether it’s a breakup threat or a reluctance to change behavior, ultimatums can be unhealthy in relationships, and they’re often fueled by emotions that aren’t well-understood. In some cases, ultimatums can even become the cause of break-ups and other serious problems.

A good way to figure out whether or not you’re giving an ultimatum is to examine your own feelings and needs, advises psychologist Janeten Teng. If you give an ultimatum because you’re feeling frustrated, angry, resentful, or disappointed, you’re going to be mired in negative emotions that are likely to backfire on you, regardless of what the other person does.

You’ll also want to consider how this might be affecting your ability to think clearly and make decisions. A number of studies have found that responders who must make decisions under time pressure or under reduced System 2 processing are more likely to reject unfair ultimatum offers (e.g., Cappelletti, Guth & Ploner, 2011).

Another reason why ultimatums can be bad for your relationship is because they’re a selfish, win-lose strategy that disregards the other person’s needs and choice. These strategies are especially common in situations where a person is in a power struggle with their partner, and they can be extremely unhealthy, according to psychology expert David Chlipala.

In fact, some therapists and marriage counselors are even against ultimatums. This is because they believe they’re a self-serving approach that neglects other people’s interests and choices, and it can lead to long-term relationships that are unhealthy and dysfunctional.

However, there are times when an ultimatum can be a healthy response to certain types of issues in a relationship. Typically, ultimatums are used when the relationship is in crisis or there is a major difference between the two partners’ goals and expectations.